A huge round of applause and thank you to Stephanie Lauber or Ouendan_fangirl of Gamefaqs. The translation was done by her so you can thank her for finally being able to understand everything going on. If you want more info (and more "cultural notes" about the translations), check out her actual FAQ here.
The game is in Japanese, and they read from right to left, so that is what you will also have to do to make sense of this. Also, make sure your viewing area is at least 1024 (i.e. 1024x768) pixels in width or else the panels will not align correctly.
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